Last night we watched (after 40 minutes of advertising) ‘American Gangster’ at the Odeon cinema here in Edinburgh. I think Odeon’s marketing people have what Larry David would no doubt refer to as Fantical/Fruadulent confusion (see: Shy/Asshole confusion). Look- if hollywood blockbusters and Odeon cinemas are not making any money it doesn’t mean they are allowed to compensate with the revenues from more than half an hour of ads targeted at an audience who will shoosh each other for talking loudly (Over Ads!!!!!). If Hollywood want to save a buck, they should do their bit and stop wasting money on tat like ‘American Gangster’ a well shot and well dressed movie uncontaminated by any acting, worthy storyline or anything else for that matter. My absolute lack of interest in the plot made me as irritable as a damp two year old. I’ve never rearranged myself so many times in a theatre.
If Odeon shut down a few of their cinemaplexes they could cut down on the number of ads they show- perhaps even hire some people to choose a broad range of films you won’t see anywhere else, they could give me £5000 or £50,000 and I’ll let them stick their logo on the front of my script, on the intro, on the dvd, i’ll tattoo “fanatical about film” on my forehead –and they’ll be no confusion this time. Odeon are frauds, they tell us about the “cinema experience” (read: half an hour of ads and a soundtrack that dips every 10 minutes) and warn us of the poor quality downloads some evil-dooer will try and sell us on the street corner. They act as if they are an institution, the truth being Odeon cinemas are the Wallmart supermarket chain of freezedried entertainment.
Ironically I had downloaded American Gangster already- If I had taken the time to skip through the video I could have saved myself the time and effort. Well, it wasn’t my choice last night.
published on January 12, 2007 » filed under Film, Noteworthy
I went to see A Prairie Home Companion the ‘Movie’ again. A truly wonderful film, a cinematic break from the trivial or sensational adaptations we’ve seen in the cinema before. Its altogether different – first off PHC is a radio programme- that really goes out every Saturday on NPR over in the States’, a musical variety show interspersed with the host’s (Garrison Keillor) long tales. He wrote and stars in the PHC Movie, directed by Robert Altman – his final film. Not an obvious choice for hollywood… it was filmed on location at the Fitzgerald Theatre- and seems to be making the rounds in the filmhouse cinemas (here in Scotland) after generally positive reception in America.
The long tales don’t really make it onto the screen although the very documentary style of the first scene – in which Keillor stands in his underpants in the middle of the bustling dressingrooms telling hyperbolic stories of his early days in radio, saving a drowning man from ankle-deep water, clarifying the identity of a pilot in a tangled story about an early transcontinental flight that ditched in a Minnesota lake (after shooting itself down) – does capture a little of his whimsical musings… sadly no “News from lake Wobegon“.
The video above was filmed in early January. Billy and Stephen (who are now somewhere in South America) and myself are sitting down to breakfast the night after our freezing hike into Derry Cairngorm. Photos on Flickr. I’m guessing it was around -5′ C, but we’re not letting on. And we’re mocking William because his parents wouldn’t let him come, luck him.
V. for Vendetta, a ‘movie’ starring (beautiful until bald) Natalie Portman and DAMN IT Hugo (can’t go wrong, y’ad THINK) Weaving is utter, utter — oh-my-lord — BALLS.
Please take an hour out of your day to stand guard at the box-office. Help educate the poor sods who listen to the crazy Mexican suggestions of ‘friends’ by suggesting they give you the ?Ǭ£5 that this shit cost us to endure, tell them you’ll kill a kitten if they don’t listen up – people like kittens.
BALLS. I’ll say no more – its really not worth it; posting is free- my sober criticisms could harm children or kittens.
No, I will say more- the Wachowski Brothers should be killed. Now, c’mon its been at least 3 posts since I’ve used such an overstatement (I save them up till posting time) and its been a good time since I used angry CAPS.
